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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #45 Lord Garf
“I won’t stop until I’m bigger than God.” -Lord Garf District: Megacorp Valley Occupation: CEO of SKARS Corp and cluster headache for Scotch Mike. Let’s face it: the last four playable characters have been rubbish. But from famine to feast, we arrive at Lord Garf. We already knew that this playable character was going to…
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Cyberia Location #3 Cyberia Zoo [With Footage]
As we have seen elsewhere, when CEO Cassidy first saw his bank balance post-inheritance, he began to throw a ton of money at various early projects. The most expensive of the lot was the Cyberia Zoo. We have absolutely no clue why anyone would think this was a good idea. Such a location is wildly…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #36 Finderz
“I can’t wait to be a metropunk.” –Finderz District: Roadkill Boondocks Occupation: Dissident member of the Hell Fire Crew. Like Gordon, Finderz had wanted to be free from the Hell Fire Crew for quite some time. His older brother, Drax, is also a member. However, Drax has signed on the dotted line in blood which…
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Cyberia District #6 Roadkill Boondocks and the Hell Fire Crew [With Footage]
The Roadkill Boondocks was clearly and shamelessly “inspired” by the Mad Max movies; specifically Beyond the Thunderdome which had not long been released. Visually speaking it is one of the most interesting districts. All that dirt and decay; it looks like a jolly summer holiday in the jaws of Death Valley. A crew of eight…
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Cyberia District #4 The Pleasure Strip
Narratively speaking the Pleasure Strip is a small, chubby dick incapable of getting excited. It just hangs motionless, the foreskin in an early stage of rigor mortis. In fact it’s so lifeless that even the smegma can no longer cultivate itself on what has become a pitiful phallic sculpture. The environment team really missed a…
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Cyberian Retro Futuristic Tech and Gadgets #2 The Ubercomputer [With Footage]
Another invention that the tech and gadgets team worked on was the Ubercomputer. Back in the summer of ’88, big things were happening in the computing world. The legendary Amiga 500 was ruining the social lives of adults and their children; Windows 2.0 had been released the year before, indicating just how much computers were…
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Cyberia Megacorp #4 SKARS CORP and Introducing “Tin Man” O’shea
Out of all the megacorps in Cyberia, SKARS features the most. This is because several of the playable characters find themselves creating an alliance to bring down this totalitarian titan once and for all. Scotch Mike, who deeply regrets the SKARS sponsored surgical procedure he had during his young and impressionable years, understands what’s really…
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Cyberia District #1 Megacorp Valley
Megacorp Valley is by far the busiest district in the Cyberia Universe. The majority of characters survive and die here, fighting over candy like toddlers with sugar withdrawals. Some playable characters only visit occasionally, hoping to take down the corrupt CEOs of the megacorps and to finally put an end to a nefarious system which…
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Cyberia Location #1 The Screamer Arena!
Because we’ve found so much visual material regarding the Screamer Arena we decided to break it up into two groups. The following commercial and promotional material is some of the greatest we’ve found by the Give Me Head team. Cycle through the promo material at your own leisure and then we’ll explain everything we know.…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #11 Jo Chi
“Cyberpigs bring me out in hives. That’s why I like to make them squeal.” –Jo Chi District: Unknown Occupation: Cyberpig slayer. Jo Chi has one of the most difficult jobs in Cyberia, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. He works for a low-key criminal enterprise known as The Bombay Butchers which is led…