Cyberia District #4 The Pleasure Strip –

District logo for the Pleasure Strip

The most confusing “shap” (shit+map) in the world.

PS Image #1 which we have found in the Pleasure Strip folder on a floppy disk. We believe it’s a still from the pilot episode.

PS Image #2

Concept artwork for the Pleasure Strip. We think this was by Mr Mystery who is turning out to be notoriously difficult to track. If you have any leads then please get in touch.

A “behind the scenes” photograph of Gary Fletcher, a camera crew member, taken on the set of the Pleasure Strip.

An image of some kind of merchant who is selling personalised virtual reality party animals which are illegally uploaded to your trendy Viv Bastard glasses for 24 hours. However, Howard Hill and the environment team failed to explain what a personalised virtual reality party animal is so guess away.

This is Hanz; one of the key players in the Pleasure Strip. This fella is about as annoying as a fast food stain on a white blouse.

PS Image #3

PS Image #4. So far it’s like browsing through a martian’s bric a brac catalogue.

More luscious concept artwork.

PS Image #5. So cool and yet so icky.

…and even more concept artwork by Mr Mystery.

Another photograph of the camera crew with some cool equipment on the set of the Pleasure Strip. This time it’s Hamish Stroud.

[VHS #1]
We believe this is the “Plindergarten Strip” which is a clumsily named hotel where the kiddywinks are let off the leash to get hypnotised all day long by video games and cartoons while mammy and papa go party.

According to some notes, this kid has been watching a robot cartoon on repeat for nineteen hours.

Another image of Hanz. We’re not sure what it’s for. His mug is literally everywhere.

Two brothers hanging out at the Plindergarten with some Daddy Swank artwork on the screen. Oh to be six again…

Narratively speaking the Pleasure Strip is a small, chubby dick incapable of getting excited. It just hangs motionless, the foreskin in an early stage of rigor mortis. In fact it’s so lifeless that even the smegma can no longer cultivate itself on what has become a pitiful phallic sculpture. The environment team really missed a trick with this one. We suspect that corners were cut to get this up and running as soon as possible so filming could begin.

There are several reasons we dislike this district, but the main reason is that Hanz is one of the key players. The only way this character could ever have been acceptable is if the Give Me Head team had the budget to get John Candy on board. Instead they ended up with King Henry the XIII’s inbred second cousin. And if Hanz was this bad, where does that leave the other resident Booboo?

We’re only playing, of course. The Booboo character is probably one of the more authentic cyberpunk heads in the entire story. He seems to tap into that aspect of human nature which cyberpunk authors love to explore: someone who can only survive a day at a time by making sure he is selling something that people really need and people really like. In this instance it’s lots of party drugs and so he is much loved.

However, Booboo also seems to be a troublesome fella. He’s always running into conflict, always the friend you haven’t seen for ages so you buy him a drink at the bar and, after you’ve handed it over, looking forward to a nice catch up, he takes a sip, nods at your opening sentence with a smile and then makes an excuse to go say hello to [insert anyone] and you’re left alone as if totally forgotten. Something like that, anyway.

This district had the potential to be the best one. It was supposed to be a playground for the headonists. People only visit for the sexbots, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll while their kids are stuck in playpens completely ignored. In between that they could go to casinos and blitz their candy, trying to beat androids at poker or hang out at the arcades and wear state of the art virtual reality headsets to enhance the 16-bit experience. Or perhaps visit the mountain of sexbot brothels which cater for every kink including the highly popular “gammon nappy humiliation”. Or maybe even rock up at the Swank Gallery ran by celebrity piss artist Daddy Swank. All of this is cancelled out by creep master Hanz.

One interesting dynamic in this district is the two escapees from the Roadkill Boondocks: Yan and Tosh. They had waited their whole lives to escape their dismal home turf, but when they finally did, things turned nasty.

Irene calls Tosh up on his Skanna after landing herself in big trouble. She tells Tosh that unless they can help meet the ransom, Irene is toast. This is where the narrative development ends and the role-playing begins.

To recap: two impoverished punks have to mission to the Pleasure Strip and successfully rescue Irene from a flock of small-time bandits. They have numerous choices to make: one is to betray Irene by informing Hanz and allowing him to resolve it; another choice is recruiting some of his warbots at the D-gen Den; and another choice is trying to sort it out on their own (as if).

Aside from all that bugger all is happening at the Pleasure Strip. We suppose the last remaining thing to do is visit Pat at the Flying Arm Bar and sample the wide selection of disgusting drinks while fighting off a gas junkie with a bar stool.