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Las Madonnas: The Scrapped Sisterhood of Mercy
You may have already noticed that barely any women worked for Give Me Head Productions. If the company name didn’t put them off then we’re presuming that Cassidy probably did. All jokes aside, the ’80s didn’t really care much for women; it just seemed to tolerate them to a point. That’s one reason why there’s…
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Giddy Ferret Paw the Musical Mental Case [With Live Footage]
Giddy Ferret Paw isn’t the real birth name of this funky eccentric; Sidney Swarbrick is. But we’ll honour using it anyway. As we can all see from these photographs, Giddy is an interesting character who, by the grace of fifty pagan gods, somehow ended up working for Give Me Head Productions. He was the only employee…
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How Would An Interactive Cyberpunk Television Series Even Work?
While piecing together these various documents and artefacts, we found ourselves returning to one important question: how would the interactive role-playing element even work? Having a weekly cyberpunk series which people at home can play along with sounds like the greatest concept in the entire world–the cultural equivalent of George Lemaître’s contribution to the Big…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #48 Skidz
“Awright, guv. Come an’ Worzel me fackin’ bag coz I only ‘ave t’ best Persians in tarn.” –Skidz District: Roadkill Boondocks (surely?) Occupation: This dipshit marks the beginning of a cruel end. The only information we have on this sad, playable character is–just to rub salt in the wounds–a resignation letter we’ve found dated August…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #41 NoCanDo
“I prefer snake to sap.” –NoCanDo District: Megacorp Valley Occupation: “Team leader” of the Bombay Butchers. We are 99% certain that “team leader” means capo, but the unknown employee who worked on him couldn’t be bothered to research this detail and has subsequently made a spectacular blunder. Or, most likely, their heart just wasn’t in…
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Give Me Head Productions Part #2 [June + July]
At the start of June, Give Me Head HQ looked like an office which had been sculptured into a monthlong rave. There were a number of employees who still didn’t have a clue what they were supposed to be doing. They would come to the office each morning, smoke a spliff and pretend they were…
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CEO Lawrence Cassidy’s Biography: Putting the Silly Con into Silicon
“Life is like a game of chess. It goes on too long.”–CEO Cassidy Lawrence Cassidy is something of a maverick. Before the Give Me Head madness, he had lived what most folks would call a privileged life. But Lawrence would beg to differ. His father, Malcolm Cassidy, took full advantage of the stock markets in…
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Neon Nights in Cyberia: The Video Game That Nearly Caused a Mass Shooting
By mid-July the team was still on a high–both metaphorically and literally. CEO Lawrence Cassidy had spent a little over half of his inheritance in two and a half months (with approximately half of that spent on Rayful Edmond’s cocaine). Cassidy wasn’t really counting because he was incapable of it. For him, reality had turned…
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Cyberia Megacorp #4 SKARS Corp and Introducing “Tin Man” O’shea [With Footage]
Out of all the megacorps in Cyberia, SKARS features the most. This is because several of the playable characters find themselves creating an alliance to bring down this totalitarian titan once and for all. Scotch Mike, who deeply regrets the SKARS sponsored surgical procedure he had in his impressionable years, understands what’s really going on…
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Noddy’s Contribution
Back in ’88, Edward “Noddy” Blackburn had not long lost his job at a VHS rental store. Out of sheer boredom he had begun to switch tapes around whenever somebody hired out the latest Hollywood blockbuster. Expecting a big budget extravaganza, the customer would get home, press play and would find themselves watching some art…
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