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Cyberian Retro Futuristic Tech and Gadgets #2 The Ubercomputer [With Footage]
Another invention that the tech and gadgets team worked on was the Ubercomputer. Back in the summer of ’88, big things were happening in the computing world. The legendary Amiga 500 was ruining the social lives of adults and their children; Windows 2.0 had been released the year before, indicating just how much computers were…
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Cyberian Retro Futuristic Tech and Gadgets #1 The Skanna [With Footage]
A classic example of the Give Me Head employment strategy would begin with suddenly realising that such a monumental television series required specialist knowledge (for example futuristic technology design). CEO Cassidy would tell everyone to assign a “top team of titties” to it. Regardless of talent, specialist area (if applicable) or ability, the people who…
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Neon Nights in Cyberia: The Video Game That Nearly Caused a Mass Shooting
By mid-July the team was still on a high–both metaphorically and literally. CEO Lawrence Cassidy had spent a little over half of his inheritance in two and a half months (with approximately half of that spent on Rayful Edmond’s cocaine). Cassidy wasn’t really counting because he was incapable of it. For him, reality had turned…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #30 Unhinged Maurice
“I’m not risking it, but I think I’m immortal.” –Unhinged Maurice District: Megacorp Valley Occupation: Leader of The Bombay Butchers; a prosperous criminal gang who can do whatever they please. Maurice’s laundrette is used as a front shop for all of The Butchers’ illegal operations. Maurice is both professional and brutal in equal measure. The…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #29 Alberto
“If you want the best crystal pizza in Cyberia then I can get it to you in less than half an hour during off-peak hours. If you want to quit forever then I’m here to talk.” –Alberto District: Little Amsterdam Occupation: Gunther’s drug mule. Alberto used to be a crystal sewer rat, wallowing in nocturnal…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #27 Brutus
“Shoot first, serve later is the motto I live by. Especially when I’m off duty.” –Brutus District: Megacorp Valley Occupation: Cyberpig. Brutus is one of the biggest bastards in Cyberia wearing a police uniform, pretending to be a cop. He’s really just a good old fashioned misanthrope who munches lots of crystal pizza on the…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #26 Irene
“I know I’m sexy to the average Sap, but I ain’t no sexbot.” -Irene District: The Pleasure Strip Occupation: Nightclub flirt. Irene is another employee of the Hanz empire. In an unashamedly sexist way, her job is to flirt with idiot metropunks at the casino and ask them to buy her a drink. If she…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #25 Tosh
“Every day is a blessing when you’ve escaped the Roadkill Boondocks. That place is total trash.” -Tosh District: Formerly Roadkill Boondocks, now the Pleasure Strip Occupation: Cloak room attendant at Hanz’s D-gen Casino. Tosh was accidentally born and abandoned in the godawful Roadkill Boondocks; a place so poor that people would fight to the death…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #24 Mr Kwong
“I’m Yakuza. Mess with me and you’ll be tomorrow’s sushi.” -Mr Kwong District: Temporary citizen of Greaser Suburbs via Tokyo. Occupation: Broker of elite Japanese vehicles and modification parts. Mr Kwong is one of the rare playable characters who isn’t a resident of Cyberia and whose backstory extends beyond the shores. Despite having a distinctly…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #23 Jon Eric
“My Father is a massive wanker but I still love him.” –Jon Eric District: Little Amsterdam Occupation: Unemployed. Jon Eric has arrived in Little Amsterdam at roughly the same time as Toby. However, the reason couldn’t be more different. Jon is the son of Gunther. Gunther has no idea that he has a son. It…

