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Neon Nights in Cyberia: The Video Game That Nearly Caused a Mass Shooting
By mid-July the team was still on a high–both metaphorically and literally. CEO Lawrence Cassidy had spent a little over half of his inheritance in two and a half months (with approximately half of that spent on Rayful Edmond’s cocaine). Cassidy wasn’t really counting because he was incapable of it. For him, reality had turned…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #30 Unhinged Maurice
“I’m not risking it, but I think I’m immortal.” –Unhinged Maurice District: Megacorp Valley Occupation: Leader of The Bombay Butchers; a prosperous criminal gang who can do whatever they please. Maurice’s laundrette is used as a front shop for all of The Butchers’ illegal operations. Maurice is both professional and brutal in equal measure. The…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #29 Alberto
“If you want the best crystal pizza in Cyberia then I can get it to you in less than half an hour during off-peak hours. If you want to quit forever then I’m here to talk.” –Alberto District: Little Amsterdam Occupation: Gunther’s drug mule. Alberto used to be a crystal sewer rat, wallowing in nocturnal…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #27 Brutus
“Shoot first, serve later is the motto I live by. Especially when I’m off duty.” –Brutus District: Megacorp Valley Occupation: Cyberpig. Brutus is one of the biggest bastards in Cyberia wearing a police uniform, pretending to be a cop. He’s really just a good old fashioned misanthrope who munches lots of crystal pizza on the…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #26 Irene
“I know I’m sexy to the average Sap, but I ain’t no sexbot.” -Irene District: The Pleasure Strip Occupation: Nightclub flirt. Irene is another employee of the Hanz empire. In an unashamedly sexist way, her job is to flirt with idiot metropunks and ask them to buy her a drink. If she hits the jackpot…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #25 Tosh
“Every day is a blessing when you’ve escaped the Roadkill Boondocks. That place is total trash.” -Tosh District: Formerly Roadkill Boondocks, now the Pleasure Strip Occupation: Cloak room attendant at Hanz’s D-gen Casino. Tosh was accidentally born and abandoned in the godawful Roadkill Boondocks; a place so poor that people would fight to the death…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #24 Mr Kwong
“I’m Yakuza. Mess with me and you’ll be tomorrow’s sushi.” -Mr Kwong District: Temporary citizen of Greaser Suburbs via Tokyo. Occupation: Broker of elite Japanese vehicles and modification parts. Mr Kwong is one of the rare playable characters who isn’t a resident of Cyberia and whose backstory extends beyond the shores. Despite having a distinctly…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #23 Jon Eric
“My Father is a massive wanker but I still love him.” –Jon Eric District: Little Amsterdam Occupation: Unemployed. Jon Eric has arrived in Little Amsterdam at roughly the same time as Toby. However, the reason couldn’t be more different. Jon is the son of Gunther. Gunther has no idea that he has a son. It…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #22 Toby
“The old man Gunther needs to understand that he’s no longer the only talented crystal pizza chef in town. They call it the free market for good reason.” –Toby District: Little Amsterdam Occupation: Aspiring narcotics manufacturer. Toby has arrived from out of town, having heard that there’s only one chef supplying the whole of Little…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card Hanz #21
“If you see Booboo around here, tell him he’s dead meat.” –Hanz District: The Pleasure Strip Occupation: Nightclub and casino owner. Hanz is dripping with sleaze and that peculiar type of sweat which only morbidly obese people seem to excrete; somewhere between wallpaper paste and bull sperm. Hanz’s nightclub and casino, known as The D-gen…
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