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The Cyberia Lowdown
Welcome all Cyber Heads! This is the official launch of a first-of-its-kind lost media project created by two brothers drunk on ’80s nostalgia. Here’s the lowdown: Way back in 1988, an ambitious company called Give Me Head Productions began working out of a Silicon Valley office space over on the B-movie side of town. Headed…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #45 Lord Garf
“I won’t stop until I’m bigger than God.” -Lord Garf District: Megacorp Valley Occupation: CEO of SKARS Corp and cluster headache for Scotch Mike. Let’s face it: the last four playable characters have been rubbish. But from famine to feast, we arrive at Lord Garf. We already knew that this playable character was going to…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #41 NoCanDo
“I prefer snake to sap.” –NoCanDo District: Megacorp Valley Occupation: “Team leader” of the Bombay Butchers. We are 99% certain that “team leader” means capo, but the unknown employee who worked on him couldn’t be bothered to research this detail and has subsequently made a spectacular blunder. Or, most likely, their heart just wasn’t in…
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Neon Nights in Cyberia: The Video Game That Nearly Caused a Mass Shooting
By mid-July the team was still on a high–both metaphorically and literally. CEO Lawrence Cassidy had spent a little over half of his inheritance in two and a half months (with approximately half of that spent on Rayful Edmond’s cocaine). Cassidy wasn’t really counting because he was incapable of it. For him, reality had turned…
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Cyberia Location #1 The Screamer Arena! [With Footage]
There are several locations which were going to appear over and over throughout the Cyberia Universe. One of the first which the team came up with was the Screamer Arena. After a fist fight among staff, it was eventually located in Megacorp Valley rather than the Pleasure Strip (which according to Alberto was “hogging all…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #17 Bronqo
“I’m best pals with the Yakuza. Their favourite pastime is severing the heads off lesser men so don’t piss me off.” –Bronqo District: Greaser Suburbs Occupation: Vehicle imports and exports. Bronqo is a class A gas junkie who trades in very expensive vehicles. He regularly does business with Mr Kwong, a representative of the Yakuza,…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #15 Earl
“I got grease coming out my ass.” –Earl District: Greaser Suburbs Occupation: Car modder and chief gas junkie. Earl is a long serving employee and close buddy of Barry-X and Bronqo. He’s a highly competent mechanic, specialising in bulletproof technologies and installing undetectable vehiclular weaponry. Earl is also a member of the Puerto Rican greasers…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #12 Keith
“Ever since I’ve read the Tao Te Ching, I feel at one with Mother Nature.” –Keith District: Little Amsterdam Occupation: Data General for the Cyberian Underground Insurgent Network Terrorists (CUINT). With so much social decay in Cyberia, Keith spends his days rallying against injustice. However, injustice in Cyberia is basically the corrupt and useless Cyberpigs,…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #19 Mikh
“None of these digi-capitalist dupes even know who I am. They are too busy with their stupid AI pets and robotic sex dolls.” –Mikh District: Somewhere between the Russian Quarter and Megacorp Valley. Occupation: Secret agent operating on behalf of the post-Soviet order which is an even worse place than what came before (which, let’s…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #11 Jo Chi
“Cyberpigs bring me out in hives. That’s why I like to make them squeal.” –Jo Chi District: Unknown. Occupation: Cyberpig slayer. Jo Chi has one of the most difficult jobs in Cyberia, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. He works for a low-key criminal enterprise known as The Bombay Butchers which is led…
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