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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #39 Ninj
“I’d beat Joey Knuckles in a fight. And by ‘beat’ I mean beat his brains until they look like a ground meat smoothie.” -Ninj District: Megacorp Valley Occupation: Mixed martial artsist who has trained extensively in raging butterfly kicking box (a spelling blunder which should of course read kick boxing). Ninj is a force to…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #38 Officer Downe
“Whatever you’ve heard about the Cyberpigs is just rumours. We take our job very seriously. Oink! Oink!” –Officer Downe District: The Pleasure Strip Occupation: Cyberpig. Officer Downe was recruited into the Cyberpigs at the tender age of 18. One night he had visited the Flying Arm Bar where Pat works. He played pool all evening for…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #37 Clarence
“I’m just a taxi driver.” –Clarence District: The Pleasure Strip Occupation: Taxi driver. So where have we seen this fella before? That’s right! It’s only the same fella who plays the almost equally terrible Hanz. We’re not entirely sure why this character exists. There’s nothing linking him to any other character in the Cyberia Universe.…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #36 Finderz
“I can’t wait to be a metropunk.” –Finderz District: Roadkill Boondocks Occupation: Dissident member of the Hell Fire Crew. Like Gordon, Finderz had wanted to be free from the Hell Fire Crew for quite some time. His older brother, Drax, is also a member. However, Drax has signed on the dotted line in blood which…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #35 Ralph Nasty
“If we don’t bring down the shadowy Cyberia Council immediately, the whole planet will soon shit the bed and we will have to roll around in it forever.” –Ralph Nasty District: Little Amsterdam Occupation: Code Commander for the Cyberian Underground Insurgent Network Terrorists. Ralph is one of the mouthiest and most militant members of the…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #34 Brad
“I used to be foolhardy just like you. But I found a way out through voluntary work in the local community.” –Brad District: The Pleasure Strip Occupation: Ex-Cyberpig turned square head good guy. Before signing up to be a scumbag cop, Brad was a scumbag full stop. In his youth, he was a huge fan…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #33 Plato
“[………….]” –Plato District: Megacorp Valley Occupation: Unemployed. Plato is a lot of nothing. We’ve seen several underdeveloped and ill-conceived playable characters, and this fella sits proudly among them atop of a huge throne. After scanning through the files, we can only find a brief mention of Plato scribbled on the back of the above photograph…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #32 Gordon
“Life is tough in the Boondocks outback and I’d eat fermented vulture eggs just to escape it.” –Gordon District: Roadkill Boondocks Occupation: Dissident member of the Hell Fire Crew (if you haven’t already read about this crew then please click here and scroll approximately halfway down). Gordon has lived a feral existence under the notorious…
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Cyberia Collectors’ Card #31 Larry
“[Incomprehensible]” -Larry District: Roadkill Boondocks Occupation: Apprentice of the Hell Fire Crew and former village idiot. To give you a flavour of this playable character, his own crew refers to him as Wet Fart Larry. This is on account of his inability to string a sentence together. He is the snotling of the Cyberia Universe.…
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Slangder #4: What is a Metropunk?
In the Cyberia Universe we found references to many different breeds of punk. The one which won the Darwinian battle for survival is “metropunk”. So what is one? A metropunk is a young, hip, super-augmented citizen whose brain is made of cottage cheese. Like any city today, these punks make up the masses of people…
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