It’s important to make crystal clear that the Chipmunks aren’t a crime organisation (if anything they are the victims of one). They are, however, connected to millions of other Chipmunks via an Intranet type system which they pay to subscribe to. This allows the user to apply a personalised filter to the world and live inside cartoons for days on end. This is its most loved function, but it also has a much more sinister side.

Chipmunks can blend into the surrounding hoi poloi and smile at people as if they’re just on the way to purchase a lobster and leafhopper burrito from a food truck. Truth is, depending on which augmentation and software they have installed, they are scanning their immediate area for numerous reasons. Some of these are shite like an alarm sounding when it’s about to start raining so they can take shelter in a dive bar moments beforehand. Some are creepy such as allowing the user to instantly learn certain things about the attractive Sap sat across the room as to make first introductions more impressive (for example: I suppose my favourite artist is DJ Cloud but hardly anyone I talk to know who she is. What do you mean she’s your favourite artist too?! Let’s go back to my place immediately and delight ourselves in her exotic sounds of intimacy!).

The juicy benefits are detecting cyberpigs and other threats, easy candy theft oportunities, hacking abilities and exclusive access to certain weaponry at a discount. There are loads more banal ideas; several which we’ve listed below.

The real danger of the chipmunk–aside from the fact that they’d slice your hand off to steal a watch even if it’s not worth much–is that their tech can randomly malfunction. When this happens anything could happen. Literally. They could burst into a Japanese karaoke song, ask if they can stroke your beautiful hair or take you out for a meal all on them. However, and much more likely, is that they’ll go on a killing spree unti they’re shot dead. If the malfunction happens in your presence, out comes the d12 and a couple of hours fighting as you try to understand what the rules are (we didn’t even try because the handwriting was so poor).

Return to the Index

Click here to return to the Index.