“I won’t stop until I’m bigger than God.” -Lord Garf

District: Megacorp Valley

Occupation: CEO of SKARS Corp and cluster headache for Scotch Mike.

Let’s face it: the last four playable characters have been rubbish. But from famine to feast, we arrive at Lord Garf. We already knew that this playable character was going to be relatively well developed because he’s pretty much at the core of the whole Cyberia Universe.

Lord Garf is somewhere between an annoying evil genius and a child throwing a permanent tantrum. Worse still, what was once a righteous medical institution–intended to treat the many plebs in Cyberia for free–became a mind hacking, data stealing, genocidal horrorshow.

After several years tweaking the digital infrastructure, Lord Garf was the wealthiest wanker in all of Cyberia. On average every single Cyberian resident had given him a medium-sized pile of candy and in return he caused nothing but misery for all of them.

But not content with having the biggest bag of sweeties in the biggest city in the world, Lord Garf wanted to go even further and own everybody and everything. He was already well on his way with this objective and, as far as he knew, only the shadowy Cyberia Council knew about it or so he thought. All of them were promised eternal fun times so long as they kept schtum.

Lord Garf and his AI workforce had created the necessary technology to hack the minds of anyone who has a SKARS superbrain chip. He could then do whatever he liked with them up to and including acts of gratuitous stupidity.

When this narrative arc truly gets going, Lord Garf has already begun to control small sectors of society including a couple of Cyberpigs, some low ranking criminals over at the Roadkill Boondocks and some Little Amsterdam junkies which Gunther is yet to find out about.

He has also hypnotised most of his Sap employees, including his armed staff and those who have trained in the secret martial art known as “open fist turtle boxing”. However, there is one crucial playable character who he’s yet to work on: Mandy.

Scotch Mike is the only person in the whole entire world who is aware of the predicament that civilisation is facing. He needs to create an alliance with folks from different districts. If he fails to achieve this then the world will go boom! and the lights will go out.

One of many problem is that it’s nigh on impossible to get close to Lord Garf as he lives on the top floor of SKARS Corp HQ. A person would need to take out the armed guards in the lobby and then crawl their way through endless tunnels lined with motion detectors. They would also need to defeat a legion of warbots on the way up. At times they would have to cut through numerous supercarbon doors, avoiding the motion sensors which cause blast furnaces to erupt, frying anyone in the tunnel in less than a nanosecond.

Beyond this Scotch Mike doesn’t know what he’ll need to do in order to save humanity; he just knows he needs a lot of experts alongside him and huge doses of bravery.

But there’s more. Much more. And Scotch Mike could never have predicted it.

Lord Garf has been secretly doomsday prepping, getting his best guys to develop a spacecraft using only the best materials and technology in Cyberia. If shit hit’th fan then he will detonate his nuclear warhead and bugger off into deep space nine on his lonesome, leaving those suckers at the shadowy  Cyberia Council behind.

Preferred Weapon: The Atomic Bomb MKII

Favourite non-alcoholic beverage: Screw you, wise guy. God doesn’t answer such baloney questions! Now feed me some grapes.

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