“I’m more intelligent than Barry Kasparov.” -Wizer

District: Little Amsterdam

Occupation: Propaganda Factory for the Cyberian Underground Insurgent Network Terrorists (CUINT).

Wizer is our final playable character recruited by the CUINT (following Keith, Gibbo and Ralph Nasty). He is also, according to some sketches we found, “part genius, part Warbot“. However, the Warbot part has been tamed considerably as all Wizer really does is churn out political nonsense, trying to recruit anybody who’s anybody to the “cause”.

While this character is also underdeveloped, his creator (who we believe is Andy Peck) came up with a concept called “flash props”. A flash prop is what today’s tech audience would call a meme. The creator believed that as computers became more sophisticated and more readily available for the average Joe, everyone would communicate with each other through “lowbrow” messages.

More specifically, he wrote:

I would bet my hypotheyical children’s inheritance that, once computers take over the entire world, the dummies of the near future will be dumbed down so much that eventually they’ll only be able to communicate through digital grunts.

These grunts will have the same depth as a school kid’s notebook scribble yet they will still resonate with many dummies at exactly the same time all across the world. The level of humour will be your average fart joke pretending to be some universal truth. Artistically it will resemble Andy Warhol taking a dump in a bucket only for Jackson Pollock to flick it across a huge canvas.

It’s almost as if he had found Nostradamus’ crystal ball and peeked into the 2000s and beyond. However, we would still like to know if the above meme images were self-parodying or if the people at Give Me Head seriously believed that the yuppy label didn’t apply to them.

This is another example of the end times for the Cyberia dream. From here it’s a speedy decline in to nowhereville.

Preferred Weapon: A gun with no name.

Advice for the future generation of propagandists: Consider getting a brain chip installed by Chipmunk. It will make your flash props almost as genius as mine despite the fact all I really did was use a text prompt. Any idiot is capable of that!

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