“I got grease coming out my ass.” –Earl

District: Greaser Suburbs

Occupation: Car modder and chief gas junkie.

Earl is a long serving employee and close buddy of Barry-X and Bronqo. He’s a highly competent mechanic, specialising in bulletproof technologies and installing undetectable vehiclular weaponry.

Earl is also a member of the Puerto Rican greasers gang although we’re clearly being asked to suspend belief as he looks more like a drummer for the first ’80s cock rock band ever to be signed onto the sex offenders’ register by name. Owed to the chip in his forehead, he’s also a pool shark and regularly plays for some extra candy at weekends.

Earl is one of the most vocal adversaries of the Russian mafia which is all down to the hostile turf war that’s starting to bubble when we first meet him. He is also a trained sniper with expert precision owed to the same forehead chip that helps him to pot pool balls like it’s going out of style.

As Earl’s story progresses, he begins to scope out the Russians and starts eliminating them one by one, but is then singled out by Count Maxim as enemy number one. Earl goes into hiding and acts as a war commander. However, the wrath of Maxim becomes potentially fatal depending on how the greaser players proceed.

Preferred Weapon: The ZX-3. No further information available. We have come to believe that any weapon with a random serial number in the title refers to precious nothing. It appears that towards the end of June, CEO Cassidy was going to give some team members the project of working on Cyberian weaponry to make the situation less confusing. However, it appears that only half of the weapons we have blueprints for have some additional information and even those are useless.

Favourite car: the Night Creeper (as seen above) which is fair enough.

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