“Cyberpigs bring me out in hives. That’s why I like to make them squeal.” –Jo Chi

District: Unknown.

Occupation: Cyberpig slayer.

Jo Chi has one of the most difficult jobs in Cyberia, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. He works for a low-key criminal enterprise known as The Bombay Butchers which is led by their savvy leader Unhinged Maurice.

The Butchers are involved in all sorts of illicit operations on both the digital highway and the one made out of asphalt. Jo Chi, a stealth master who wears the coolest pair of custom Ps and Qs (noise cancellation boots otherwise known as Peace and Quiets which is a rubbish name), was employed as the enterprise’s Cyberpig slayer.

As we have noted elsewhere, every criminal enterprise with less than thirty employees has a Cyberpig slayer amidst the ranks. Their job is to spy on the piggies and eliminate those who are assigned to catch or kill their own troublesome members. The stakes are high, but so is the candy payout upon success.

Jo Chi has excelled in this role for just over nine years and it’s believed that he has slayed approximately five Cyberpigs per year which is a world record. However, it must also be noted that every Cyberpig slayer has an average lifespan of ten years on the job before they finally make a boob and face horrific reprisals.

According to some notes we found, Jo Chi is presently tracking a particularly awful Cyberpig wanker called Brutus. His intel states that Brutus has been on the chopping  block for quite some time, but he has no idea who the designated slayer is. As such it’s become a short race as to who will slay who first. This would’ve been determined by certain choices the players made such as which donut Brutus purchases in the morning and which shoelaces Jo Chi decides to use that day. It’s all very exciting.

Jo Chi also has a 21/21 Vision chip located in his forehead which was surgically installed by SKARS Corp. This not only prevents him from having to wear reading glasses, but it also allows him to visualise people’s profiles exactly like the one you’re presently reading. This is handy for many things, not least immediately knowing the favourite poem of a Cyberian sweetheart thus making it easier to come up with a chat up line that might actually work.

Preferred Weapon: The Drex VI; a reliable blade made out of Drek-standard supercarbon.

Favourite joke: How many Cyberpigs does it take to forcibly remove a dodgy superbrain chip? One, but I’ll bet you all the candy in the world that it won’t be their own. Guffaw!

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