“[Insert Whatever]” -Ted

District: The Pleasure Strip

Occupation: Who knows?

We have virtually nothing to go on with this playable character. Ted’s more like an NPC from the Commodore 64 era; just some monotone polygon stain floating around an empty purple wasteland as it tries to hunt another monotone polygon stain that’s a different shape.

What we do know is that Ted survives a day at a time somewhere in the Pleasure Strip. From this we can perhaps hazard a guess that, like other residents of the Strip, he’s a weird dude. And he probably knows Booboo and wants to marry Pat. He might even be the fella who Booboo heroically stuck his neck out for. Or perhaps he’s just another taxi driver with nothing to do all day other than gamble his candy away on Screamer Arena death matches.

He also has a chip in his forehead courtesy of Chipmunk, but this could mean anything.

We will continue to search the Give Me Head archives and if we can find anything then we will update it here.

Preferred Weapon: The Bukkake Blitz

Anything?: Nothing.

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