“I can’t wait to be a metropunk.” –Finderz

District: Roadkill Boondocks

Occupation: Dissident member of the Hell Fire Crew.

Like Gordon, Finderz had wanted to be free from the Hell Fire Crew for quite some time. His older brother, Drax, is also a member. However, Drax has signed on the dotted line in blood which means he has divorced his biological family and now regards the Hell Fire Crew as his true brethren. But because Finderz is also a member, Drax still regards him as a brother but not because they share the same parents. The moment Finderz tries to escape the crew, Drax will regard him as an enemy and wouldn’t think twice about chewing his nose off.

Finderz has passed the point of caring. Life under the Hell Fire Crew is so miserable that he’s prepared to take the risk. Besides, Gordon is his real brother now. The two of them are more than capable of disappearing into Megacorp Valley and beginning a whole new life.

However, the night before the great escape, excitement still turned into nervous paralysis. Finderz lay on the floor of his shack, convinced that it really would be the end of him. He stared up at the ceiling, watching a huge mutant spider trapping a winged insect. All he could think about was getting caught by Drax and then castrated by some inbred desert elder.

For a short while, Finderz thought about calling the whole thing off and ratting on Gordon. At least then he might be able to bullshit his way to staying alive. Or maybe he could persuade Gordon to press the pause button until they’ve thought it through a bit more.

After a long sweaty night fear spat Finderz back out again. He committed himself to the cause. He was going to get out or get tortured to death trying. Perhaps if he knew what would happen next, he would’ve reconsidered.

Preferred Weapon: The Shmup-XY

Favourite roadkill cut: Give me some of those delicious hyena short ribs any day.

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