“If we don’t bring down the shadowy Cyberia Council immediately, the whole planet will soon shit the bed and we will have to roll around in it forever.” –Ralph Nasty

District: Little Amsterdam

Occupation: Code Commander for the Cyberian Underground Insurgent Network Terrorists.

Ralph is one of the mouthiest and most militant members of the CUINT. He’s also a master at artificially inseminating cybervenom into the most guarded Ubercomputers in Cyberia.

Ralph knows the CUINT Manifesto like his right palm and frequently quotes long sections of it to berate those members who don’t have photographic memories. And although he’s about seven stone of pure bulimia, most members fear him because of his endless barking about the corrupt system. The only person in the network who actually backs him is a chump called Gibbo.

The organisation is supposed to stand against authority, but Ralph must’ve missed the memo. He believes that the revolution will fail unless he becomes the supreme leader. However, the real reason the revolution will fail is because it isn’t really happening. There’s only a handful of members who’ve signed up for the cause and all they really do all day is intercept dull conversations on the Skanna, trying to figure who they’re listening to. They call this a “clandestine guerrilla operation” so it sounds like serious business.

The predicament here is that if Scotch Mike attempts to form an alliance with Keith, it could be in jeopardy. Ralph will endlessly quote from the CUINT Manifesto, pointing out that taking down the Cyberia Council should come first and if Keith doesn’t agree then he’s a digi-capitalist donkey traitor who must die.

What happens next is anyone’s guess.

Preferred Weapon: Deadly Llama Blade MKII.

Your favourite revolutionary figure: I once read about a philosopher who lived in the Anal-World. His name was Hulk Hogan and he never compromised his values for anybody.

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