“Life is tough in the Boondocks outback and I’d eat fermented vulture eggs just to escape it.” –Gordon

District: Roadkill Boondocks

Occupation: Dissident member of the Hell Fire Crew (if you haven’t already read about this crew then please click here and scroll approximately halfway down).

Gordon has lived a feral existence under the notorious Hell Fire Crew for many years. Abandoned at ten years’ old, he had no choice but to sign up and serve this litter of mental cases. Membership was free, but the commitment was a lifetime with no possibility of parole.

As the years rolled by and the misery grew, Gordon began to think about escaping the dust and filth. The problem was that anyone caught even joshing about the possibility of scarpering was brought before the Elders to pointlessly plead for their lives only to receive a sentence worse than death. All this changed when Gordon and Finderz became acquainted with each other.

After going deep in the desert to dig for tin cans, Finderz had let slip that he wanted out. Gordon asked him what he meant.

“Fuck it,” he said. “I’ll happily tell you and if you say anything then we’ll both go down.”

“Just spit it out, chief. I won’t tell a soul. Or an asshole for that matter.

“I want to get as far away from this place as humanly possible.”

“Me too.”

“Seriously?”

“I’ve been thinking about how to do it for years,” Gordon said, staring out at the desert. “All I know about the world is this shitty desert.”

“We just need a watertight plan.”

“Plus some huge bollocks.”

And so Gordon and Finderz became preoccupied with this dilemma until they finally decided to go for it, taking Wet Fart Larry down with them.

Preferred Weapon: The Kraken. A reliable machine gun which shoots homemade bullets made out of fossils (fossils being buried tin cans dating back to the Anal-World).

Favourite snack: Baked scorpion giblets.

---

Return to the Index

Click here to return to the index.

Interested in the Digital Collectable?

NFTs coming soon on BESC Hyperchain