Crystal pzza is a narcotic which is near-universally abused in the Cyberia Universe. You take it, your boss encourages you to take it, your gran takes it in larger doses than anybody else. Your hairdresser takes it, your postman takes it, even your AI pet parrot takes it. And they take it all day every day. Forever and ever. And ever. And ever.

Crystal pizza is associated with the playable character Gunther who, from the comfort of his own laboratory, churns out tons of the shit daily. It is also one of the main sponsors of the Screamer Arena as well as having atomic bomb-level devastation on the people of Little Amsterdam.

We think that it’s based on methamphetamine which was perceived as the grottier drug of the 1980s. Meanwhile cocaine was for rich people and therefore perfectly acceptable.

It’s worth noting that pizza was also served in McDonald’s back in ’88 and we think this might have been the inspiration. Judging from some of the office photos we’ve seen, the Give Me Head team sure loved pizza. And scurvy presumably.

Anyways, based on its prevalence across Cyberia it must’ve been some good shit.

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